Sandy asks…
once best friend/now i hate him?
So… I was raised in a abusive home… when i was about 14 i started talking to this guy online. He was my “bf”- really more like a best friend. He helped me get through some tough stuff… my mom being beaten by her husband… and me being beaten by him.
This went on for about 2 years… until he convinced me it was time for me to get out…. I finally got up the courage to go to my school and tell them. (he pushed me a lot and that helped)
eventually i got out of the house and went to live with my grandfather. A few months later we “broke up” got back together “broke up” over and over again.
This really hurt me, but i kinda knew it was coming, and to be honest in a way i was kinda glad to see it end.
When i was around 17 i started dating this guy that i have known since i was about 13 or 14 (we were just friends but lost contact for a long time, and then regained contact when i was 17 and started dating)…. so, me and him date for a long time, eventually (me now 21) got married actualyl aobut 2 months ago.
i have a great relationship and i love my husband more than anything in the world.
However i find i still talk to this other guy occasionally, dont get the wrong idea i have no feelings for this guy at all…but what it really boils down to is that i find myself keeping in contact (talking to him 1x every 1-3 months) mainly because i feel like i owe him something for helping me out of that situation…
So, anywho… the more i talk to him at all now the more i just ******* hate him… everything about him… he used to be like an amazing person, or maybe i just didnt see how much of a douche bag he was reguardless he definately has changed a lot.
he was the nice virgin guy stright arrowed caring etc…
now he lays with anything he can get (which is probably not much anyway) smokes regularly, drinks reg… etc etc i could go on and on but i think you get the point
anywho, it seems like he only talks to me now when he needs/wants somethign…
mainly always asking for money or something related to money anyway…
he always makes little comments like:
“what running low on the hundreds of thousands”
or “i have no sympathy for you, im trying to barrow x amount for x from someone”
like, i know me and my husband are young and more well off then the average but i just find these comments very offensive… (the second one was in reguards to me tlaking about how we just had a car accident and due to our injuries we havent been able to work much)
and then yesterday he tells me he wants to run a business proposal past me and my husband so i say okay since i didnt want to just dismiss him and be a douche.
so… he sends me the business “plan” which consisted of basically a schedule of when the business would be open and a layoutof the building… ooo and some of the peoples “links of articles” that hed be working with that “volunteered” to help him.
his brilliant idea that he asked me to invest 50k into is a haunted house? he then proceeded to tell me how he would pay me back the 50k within 2 weeks of the place being open and a “gift” of 10k additional also within 2 weeks of being opened.
my first response was that it could work but i dont think that it would and thanks for thinking of us but were not interested… but he proceeded to push it so i told him that going into a business with the assumption that your going to make 50k in the first 2 weeks of pure profits is a vasssstttt over estimate. (not includding that his business idea is crap)
then his defense to that was “well we will”
also i forgot to mention if the business went belly up it would basically be “o well” since him and his “business partner” are both unemployed.
obviously i know i was right for turning this “business opportunity” down – honestly sounded more like a scam to me.
but to be honest im more pissed that he ******* asked me in the first place. to ask someone you dont even speak to on a regular basis for 50k?
and also on top of that a couple days ago, he texts me saying hi and “i miss tlaking to you sometimes” like wtf its just really pissed me off since its blantly ******* obvious that he just made the effort to talk to me to try an get me to “invent” in some doomed to fail bs business….
i really want to just ***** him the hell out… am i wrong? what would you do?what should i do?
Larry McCann answers:
You feel that he saved your life, but he didn’t. He was just one to watch over you and help you find the strength to change your own life, and to that he deserves thanks. However, I don’t think you owe him any sort of financial debt, perhaps an emotional one, like sticking by him in hard times.
It’s hard to see a friend change for the worst, but it sounds like he’s really not the boy you once knew all those years ago, and I’m sorry, but it sounds like the boy who was once your best friend isn’t coming back. You have to learn to accept this, for this is just the way he grew up.
DO NOT DO THE HAUNTED HOUSE INVESTMENT. You will lose all of your money! And he will have NO obligation, legally, to repay you. It’s really a pipe dream, it’s better to give him time to let it go. You don’t owe him money, though at times I’m sure you wish you could help him out.
I think it would be best to put some distance between the two of you, for the benefit of all aspects in your life, or to tell him upfront your feelings about him and his constant requests for money. It really sounds like your friendship changed from being caring and genuine to simply being a potential financial gain for him.
You have to do some thinking, because it seems like you could gain a lot more from letting him go then painfully holding on to him waiting for the old him to come back..
Best of luck! 
ps, if you have time, give my question a look..? :]
Sandra asks…
what would be best for preparing for my own business?
Which one of the two paths do you think would be better for preparing for starting a business
1# I would get a job that pays a wage of $8.00 an hour and save my money for my small business.
I live with my dad so i don’t have to worry about paying bills and he has plenty of cars i can drive and food and etc.
So anyway I would work 5 day a week bringing home $64 dollars a day, making $320.00 , bringing home $1280.00 a month. I would spend the $280 and save the $1000 into my saving account. I f i keep saving up money ( and my goal is to save money up for 4 years) , i would have $12,000.00 a year adding up to $48,000,00 in 4 years.
While i’m saving up money i would get a credit card so i can get a good credit score ( if you have a good credit score , it will increase your chances of getting business loan and investor etc). I would start small and buy a few outfits with the credit card and some food i think for about 6 months. Then i would get a car ( I know i said my dad has alot of cars, like 6 cars but i really need to buy something big with the credit card in order to build up my score) and pay it off , doing this for a year of paying the car bill should build up my credit score if i pay on time)
somewhere in the 4 years of saving money and building up credit score. I will think and create new ideas for my business and creating a effective business plan.when my 4 years are up i will start on my business.
thats the first plan i have , now here is the second one.
2# I would join the military ( navy or air force) and use the benefits to my advantage.
I don’t have to worry about housing and etc if i live on base, I would save up my money has was described up top of the first plan and do the same thing i stated above with building up my credit score.
I would use the benefits and opportunities to go into college and get the extra pay and stuff. i could use the college benefits to learn managment or business to help me not only do well in business but to also increase my chances of getting a business loan and bank loan etc etc( 48,000 dollars saved up + good credit score+ business degree or whatever kind it is = bigger loan and better chances).
In the military the will teach you how to be a leader and such and such.
So what do you think ?
Do you like 1# or 2#?
tell me what would you do differently .?
Larry McCann answers:
Sounds like a plan. Enlisting in the military is a good idea. There you will learn leadership skills and a trade you can apply to the real world. Believe me, there is more to the military than just being taught how to kill. Anyone who believes that never served in the military you can be sure.
Chris asks…
Business Management questions?
Robert Downs has just completed a Master of Science degree in computer science at Major State University. He now wants to begin a new Internet business selling his services as a Web site maker for companies in his home city, St. Louis. He estimates that, if his business idea is a success, within one year he will be employing at a minimum 10 programmers and two analysts.
1. To make his business successful, Robert will first have to develop what type of plan?
A. Tactical
B. Specific
C. Directional
D. Strategic
2. To clarify how the overall goals are to be achieved, Robert will have to develop a
A. Tactical plan
B. Specific plan
C. Directional plan
D. Strategic plan
3. To ensure that the organization’s objectives are clearly defined and do not leave room for interpretation, he will have to develop what type of plan?
A. Tactical
B. Specific
C. Directional
D. Strategic
4. To provide the programmers and analysts general guidelines about the efficiencies that are desired, he will have to develop what type of plan?
A. Tactical
B. Specific
C. Directional
D. Strategic
CASE 2—XYZ Planning
At organization XYZ, the plans are made at the top, and then those managers meet with their subordinates at the next level and mutually agreed-to goals are established with them. The mid-level managers then meet with their first-level managers and mutually agreed-to goals are established with them. Finally, the first-level managers meet with each of their employees and mutually agreed-to goals are established with them.
5. The planning approach used at the XYZ organization is ____________________.
A. Management by Objectives
B. Directional planning
C. Specific planning
D. Traditional planning
CASE 3—Dollars to Donuts
Ralph Friedgrin is the owner of a chain of five donut shops in Smalltown, MD. Smalltown is located along Interstate 95, about half-way between Lost and Nowhere.
6. Mr. Friedgrin demands that the five store managers during their weekly meeting discuss what the customers in their stores are requesting. Mr. Friedgrim always reads the monthly donut-industry magazine, Holey Mazole. He always attends the Annual National Conference of Donut Makers and updates his managers when he returns. These activities are examples of_________________.
A. Competitive intelligence
B. Benchmarking
C. Environmental scanning
D. Global scanning
7. On occasion, Mr. Friedgrin goes to nearby, larger towns such as Lost and Nowhere to visit big chain donut shops. Mr. Friedgrin purchases donuts and chats with these customers about their donut likes and dislikes. He also will “peek” into the kitchen to view the equipment, or when he can, he will watch through the customer observation window to see the whole process. Mr. Friedgrin is performing which planning technique?
A. Competitive intelligence
B. Environmental scanning
C. Benchmarking
D. Global scanning
8. Mr. Friedgrin recently went on a well-deserved vacation. While at the beachfront resort, Mr. Friedgrin took many notes regarding the excellent service he received. On the flight home, he reviewed his notes to see what lessons he could apply to his donut shops. When Mr. Friedgrin is out looking at the “best practices” of the other donut stores in these towns, he is performing which of the following?
A. Competitive intelligence
B. Benchmarking
C. Environmental scanning
D. Strategic planning
CASE 4—SWOT Analysis
As a process of self-examination during her senior year of college, Casey decided to develop a SWOT analysis of her prospects relative to getting a job.
9. Casey realizes that she has a personal characteristic that suggests she is not comfortable interacting with strangers. She interprets this as a(n) _________is she is to get a job as a salesperson.
A. Alternative
B. Strength
C. Weakness
D. Opportunity
10. Casey majored in marketing and really enjoyed studies in market research. Through research on the Internet and in the university library, she discovers that this industry appears to have significant positive external trends. She interprets this as a (n)______.
A. Alternative
B. Strength
C. Weakness
D. Opportunity
11. Casey has been involved in _____________at a personal level
A. Opportunity analysis
B. Risk avoidance
C. Strategic planning
D. Stage decision making
CASES 5—Un Taco Pequeno
Imagine that you are the president of Taco Rocket, a new and successful chain of 100 Mexican fast-food restaurants. The success you have experienced in the last 5 years has you thinking of what to do with the business next. Should you expand the business at the current rate? Open new and different restaurants? What?
2, You decide to concentrate on Taco Rocket’s primary business by only increasing the menu to include new items such as enchiladas and rice bowls. This is an example of what type of growt
Larry McCann answers:
It is safe to say that nearly everything about managing customer specific requirements is a hassle. If you’re an auditor, how do you know what customer specific requirements exist so that you can audit against them? If you’re the customer, how do you distribute them efficiently? If you’re a supplier, how do you get them? How do you know if you have the latest version?
Customerspecifics.com was founded as a way of improving the management of customer specific requirements for registrars and quality personnel. The idea started when a member was surprised to find that his revision of a customer specific requirement had become obsolete just days before his audit, resulting in a finding.
Really?
This person wasn’t notified of the release of a new revision. If suppliers are required to notify their customers of changes to processes, shouldn’t customers return the favor and notify their suppliers of changes to requirements? If something is important enough to be a requirement for a supplier, it’s just good business practice to make sure that your suppliers are aware of these requirements.
These are the issues that customerspecifics.com is attempting to solve. We thank each of our users for your valuable document submissions and welcome any and all feedback. We look forward to hearing from you!
D. Matthew Morris
Charles asks…
feel like i owe him/really f’in hate him now…?
So… I was raised in a abusive home… when i was about 14 i started talking to this guy online. He was my “bf”- really more like a best friend. He helped me get through some tough stuff… my mom being beaten by her husband… and me being beaten by him.
This went on for about 2 years… until he convinced me it was time for me to get out…. I finally got up the courage to go to my school and tell them. (he pushed me a lot and that helped)
eventually i got out of the house and went to live with my grandfather. A few months later we “broke up” got back together “broke up” over and over again.
This really hurt me, but i kinda knew it was coming, and to be honest in a way i was kinda glad to see it end.
When i was around 17 i started dating this guy that i have known since i was about 13 or 14 (we were just friends but lost contact for a long time, and then regained contact when i was 17 and started dating)…. so, me and him date for a long time, eventually (me now 21) got married actualyl aobut 2 months ago.
i have a great relationship and i love my husband more than anything in the world.
However i find i still talk to this other guy occasionally, dont get the wrong idea i have no feelings for this guy at all…but what it really boils down to is that i find myself keeping in contact (talking to him 1x every 1-3 months) mainly because i feel like i owe him something for helping me out of that situation…
So, anywho… the more i talk to him at all now the more i just fucking hate him… everything about him… he used to be like an amazing person, or maybe i just didnt see how much of a douche bag he was reguardless he definately has changed a lot.
he was the nice virgin guy stright arrowed caring etc…
now he lays with anything he can get (which is probably not much anyway) smokes regularly, drinks reg… etc etc i could go on and on but i think you get the point
anywho, it seems like he only talks to me now when he needs/wants somethign…
mainly always asking for money or something related to money anyway…
he always makes little comments like:
“what running low on the hundreds of thousands”
or “i have no sympathy for you, im trying to barrow x amount for x from someone”
like, i know me and my husband are young and more well off then the average but i just find these comments very offensive… (the second one was in reguards to me tlaking about how we just had a car accident and due to our injuries we havent been able to work much)
and then yesterday he tells me he wants to run a business proposal past me and my husband so i say okay since i didnt want to just dismiss him and be a douche.
so… he sends me the business “plan” which consisted of basically a schedule of when the business would be open and a layoutof the building… ooo and some of the peoples “links of articles” that hed be working with that “volunteered” to help him.
his brilliant idea that he asked me to invest 50k into is a haunted house? he then proceeded to tell me how he would pay me back the 50k within 2 weeks of the place being open and a “gift” of 10k additional also within 2 weeks of being opened.
my first response was that it could work but i dont think that it would and thanks for thinking of us but were not interested… but he proceeded to push it so i told him that going into a business with the assumption that your going to make 50k in the first 2 weeks of pure profits is a vasssstttt over estimate. (not includding that his business idea is crap)
then his defense to that was “well we will”
also i forgot to mention if the business went belly up it would basically be “o well” since him and his “business partner” are both unemployed.
obviously i know i was right for turning this “business opportunity” down – honestly sounded more like a scam to me.
but to be honest im more pissed that he fucking asked me in the first place. to ask someone you dont even speak to on a regular basis for 50k?
and also on top of that a couple days ago, he texts me saying hi and “i miss tlaking to you sometimes” like wtf its just really pissed me off since its blantly fucking obvious that he just made the effort to talk to me to try an get me to “invent” in some doomed to fail bs business….
i really want to just bitch him the hell out… am i wrong? what would you do?what should i do?
he basically said that he understands that he helped me out of that situation… which is why i pretty much stayed friedns with him thus far.
- but after him pushing his “business idea” tonight he basically said to cut him loose because its not worth it. while i agree but still kinda feel bad… guess its just realising the reality that hes not the guy he once was…. its saddening.
i just wanted to get some outsiders opinions before i end up exploding on him… since its pretty much at the point where i just wanna scream at him
Larry McCann answers:
I don’t care what he did in the past — a person who keeps in touch with you just to guilt you into giving him money isn’t a friend at all. If he cared about you, he wouldn’t be putting you in a situation where you could lose 50K with no real intention of paying it back. I don’t know what his problem is and why he changed like that, but there’s nothing you can do for him. He’s dead weight, so cut him loose. Your number one priority (next to yourself) should be your husband anyway. What does your husband think? That’s someone who probably understands the situation better than us and would have your best interest at heart. Maybe you two should pow wow about it. Best of luck.
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